Bread Kills..

Warning, Warning!!

A recent comprehensive study reveals …

Bread Kills!

Recent research has found some startling and frightening facts about a
food product commonly found around the house; bread!

  1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

  2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households
    score below average on standardized tests.

  3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home,
    the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality
    rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and
    diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

  4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.

  5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For
    example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are
    obviously cumulative: 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten
    * 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread.
    * 96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread.
    * 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate
    bread within 6 months preceding the accident.
    * 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread
    is served frequently.

  6. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all the
    people born since 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100%
    mortality rate.

  7. Bread is made from a substance called “dough.” It has been proven
    that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab
    rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day!

  8. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence
    of cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, and osteoporosis.

  9. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and
    given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

  10. Bread is often a “gateway” food item, leading the user to “harder”
    items such as butter, jelly, peanut paste, and even cold cuts.

  11. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more
    than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your
    body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into
    a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

  12. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

  13. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit!
    That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

  14. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between
    significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

Remember, you have been warned!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Great stuff, aardvark! 8)


Delightful. Love #14 - sums up questionaires sociology students hand out to get the results they want.
(Most go on to be civil servants, politicians or doctoral students)

I wonder how many logical fallacies are involved ?

One I see is Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc.

A Post Hoc is a fallacy with the following form:

A occurs before B.
Therefore A is the cause of B.


Less of that swearing. This is a family forum.


and I bet Frank ate bread prior to making that quote… 8O